Sis-Boom-Bah!

Once upon a time, when people were generally dressed in a respectable manner, high school athletes and cheerleaders earned a sturdy, heavyweight wool sweater, often a cardigan, for their efforts, such as these:

The Lanza 'N' by Roper and Lanza knitting mills of Boston, Mass.

'71' by Parrish of Park Ridge, Illinois, an official 'Sand Knit'

Not one wear another man's school colors, I immediately removed the 'N' from the cardigan, and found a pocket underneath.This thing weighs a ton. After it gets a fresh dry cleaning, I think I'll change the buttons for some brown leather ones, and use it like a sports jacket. '71' is too cool to mess with and will remain as is. In your face, Rugby Ralph Lauren! $150 my foot!

And what to wear to the spring semi-formal? We all know nothing impresses the young ladies quite like cotton madras:

What's that? Spilled your drink? No need to worry, the Palm Beach 'Zephyr Weight' is machine washable:

Fast forward to July: this jacket with khakis, a navy blue tennis shirt, no socks and top-siders. Superb! (add a captains hat and I'll have the Thurston Howell vibe nailed). Alas, this one will also require a new set of buttons, maybe brown horn. Anything but these monstrosities:

All this, plus a sweater and a fleece blanket for the boy, a 1960's vintage glass and gilt serving dish for the wife, and an unworn Brooks Brothers U.S.A. made white oxford button down for just shy of 30 clams. Not a bad haul.

p.s. Who can even imagine a teenager dressed like this? How far we've fallen (world's smallest violin)